My mother would have turned ninety-years old this past July. In reflecting on this occasion, I came across this old blog post from 2008, published soon after my mother’s death from complications due to Alzheimer’s Syndrome. I am re-posting it in honor of her continued presence in my life.
God has been so gracious to me, constantly knowing what I need so much more deeply than I am aware myself.
I remember wanting to finish the Mother of God Hodigitria for my mom’s 80th birthday and not even being close due to technical difficulties. Then I discovered that we were painting the Tenderness Mother of God in my icon painting class that finished only one week before my mom’s birthday. God knows what our soul needs and what brings honor to Him, ourselves and those around us. He gave me the skill to finish the icon pictured here, and I think made it beautiful, somehow enhancing the beauty of my mother and the occasion.
In these past weeks, as my sisters and I kept a bedside vigil with my mom, both icons were in the room- my mother, of course, the more profound, the more beautiful of the two. As she declined, I had less coherent words or thoughts for each moment yet a greater sense of the profundity of what we were experiencing, where my mom was going. In the end, it was again about presence, just being present. I was grateful for the Divine Office that gave us words of Scripture, prayer, and blessing, because we, or at least I, had no words for the time deep enough.
I wonder if God was fulfilling some profound purpose in who was present with my mom when she passed at 7:16 pm June 7, 2008. All of us were genuinely able to say that we didn’t need to physically be present with my mom when she died since we did not know what my mom wanted, neither knowing the day nor the hour. However, I know that I am glad for each person that was in the room, genuinely grateful for their companionship. I believe each was meant to be there. In addition to my sisters and I, my 12-year old niece who is named after my mom and my brother who lived closest to my mom and had been a big part of her care were present.
There are countless ways God provided for us in the last weeks, this week of the funeral and in the funeral itself. How does He know? His omniscience and mercy is a powerful, loving and gentle thing. Thank you to all who prayed for and thought of my family and me during this time and all these years. Thank you to all who phoned, who contributed to my mom’s endowment and who sent flowers and cards. Thank you to all who made the trip down and out to be with my family and me for a few short hours and honor my mom. Thank you for being present. I love you all.
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